Wise words
A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.
Proverbs 25:11 (ESVUK)
Have you shared a problem with someone and been told not to worry, it will be alright? No, it won’t be, you think privately. And it isn’t. And you feel your concerns have been dismissed. Or that your troubles are little and you shouldn’t be in a tizz about them. We start to believe that we can’t tell anyone about our situation, adding to any isolation we may already be feeling.
I discovered that sort of well-meant reply to confessed difficulties has been given a name: it’s called toxic positivity, a refusal to accept others’ negative feelings.
But being uplifting and encouraging seems to be Christ-like and Christian. Hebrews 10:25 tells us to get together to encourage one another. But to avoid the pitfall of being toxically positive, we also need to ‘weep with those that weep’.1 Which is not always easy, especially if they are determined to continue to go on weeping. We may be tempted to tell them to pull themselves together, which then adds to their belief that no one understands them.
To remind someone that all things work together for good may not go down well. Nor reminding them that James tells us to count it all joy when we are in a trial! 2
Also we sometimes are tempted to plaster over other people’s problems because the world is bad enough without being told about more of them. We move smartly from just being with one another in pain and suffering to offering solutions to the situation, often because we ourselves can’t deal with yet more suffering and want to see the problem dealt with.
As Solomon wrote, there is ‘a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance’.3 Forget the dancing bit, till someone’s ready for it. As he also said, there is a time for everything.4 Jesus knew what to say, as it says in Isaiah 50:4: “The Lord God has given Me the tongue of the learned, That I should know how to speak A word in season to him who is weary”5. The Holy Spirit can bring his mind and wisdom to us.
Prayer
Our God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, grant us the wisdom of Jesus, and the help we need to come alongside those in trouble, and be a source of comfort and Spirit-guided help in their time of need. Amen.
1 Romans 12:15
2 James 1: 2-4
3 Ecclesiastes 3:4
4 Ecclesiastes 3:1
5 Isaiah 50:4 NKJV
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Study by: Hilary Buck About the author: |
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Local congregation:
Grace Communion in Lewes
The House of Friendship
208 High Street
Lewes
BN7 2NS
Meeting time:
Sunday 11:00 am
Local congregational contact:
Hilary Buck
Email: lewes@gracecom.church
Like us on www.facebook.com/Grace Communion Lewes
Word of Life contact:
wordoflife@gracecom.church