9th October 2025

I recently heard a parent say to her child, ‘You are worthless. I asked you to do one little thing and you didn’t do it.’ My heart sank as I know from personal experience the impact those words have on a child.

I’m going to share a bit, not to make you feel sorry for me, but to show you the power of the lies many hear in school, home, and church, and compare that to the amazing truth God shares with us. I grew up being constantly told I wasn’t worth much, I wouldn’t amount to much, I had no real value. I was told no one would want to marry me, I was difficult to love, and a host of other negative things that impacted a multitude of behaviours. I was constantly seeking attention and affirmation. If one method didn’t work, I’d try another. Over the years, I found that humour and sarcasm always got a laugh, and I focused on making people laugh. This meant I often made inappropriate comments at inappropriate times just to get a laugh.

This was recognised while I was in college, and several church leaders told me I would never be in ministry or leadership. This crushed me because it had been my dream for years. Add to these negative statements what I believed I was hearing at church. I had to earn God’s love; I had to work to receive his acceptance. I was a worthless worm, and unless I sought God, I would end up burning up in a lake of fire – our way of saying hell. Every week I heard a sermon that would focus on something I needed to overcome to be right with God. I looked at the book of life as a list of my failures and my successes, my sins, and my good works, and I just hoped one side would outweigh the other. I went to church because I was afraid to fall further out of God’s favour; I was afraid to disobey. I knew the consequences – banishment from God’s love. 

Before you start to believe my life was always negative, God placed several people along the way who spoke truth into my life. Men and women who saw something different and invested in me. Looking back, I find it fascinating that for years, I allowed the negative comments to have far more weight in my heart and mind than the positive comments.

This teaching, that we are nothing, is everywhere and that’s the message many believe they hear from the church, because that’s the message many in the church teach and preach. And I don’t believe that pleases our Abba. I believe God has called us to speak truth into people’s lives. We need to break through the lies that many – including most believers – hold to be true. Here are a few of those lies:

• We are nothing – No, God created you to be part of his eternal family.
• I have to earn God’s love – No, he loved you and chose you before the foundation of the earth. He sent his Son because of his love for you. He loved us while we were still sinners. (Romans 5:8)
• It’s hard work to remain in God’s love – No, nothing can separate you from the love of God –You are in his favour. (Romans 8:38-40)
• I am a sinner – No, I was a sinner; now God calls me a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). Yes, I still sin, but it’s not my identity. I no longer need to walk in guilt and shame, but in confidence in my identity as a child of Abba.
• When I sin, God turns and walks away – No, he will never leave or forsake you (Matthew 28:20).
• There are too many rules to keep track of – No, Jesus wrapped up the law by giving his disciples a new commandment to love one another (John 13:34). True love covers all.
• I will never be good enough – No, it’s not about how good you are, it’s about how good he is. He is good enough, and you are being transformed into his image. (2 Corinthians 3:18).

Let’s acknowledge that many are living in the lies spread by the prince of the power of the air. But we know the truth. You are worthy, you are forgiven and accepted, you are the beloved, so be loved and remind others they are already loved. Let’s be among those who believe and share the good news of God’s kingdom, which he is building for them.

Let’s be lights of the truth of his goodness.

This is an edited version of an article that was first published on 28 June 2024 in the Equipper magazine

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